


Stony Stories Vol.1

by AvengersAU



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, stony - Fandom
Genre: Character Death, Eventual Smut, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Short & Sweet, Short Stories
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-29
Updated: 2019-07-09
Packaged: 2019-12-26 07:53:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 14,151
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18278993
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AvengersAU/pseuds/AvengersAU
Summary: In an alternative universe, Tony Stark and Steve Rogers have a complicated relationship. Between sadness and joy, here are 10 short stories about them.Warning: There's no link between the different chapters.





	1. Wasted

Wasted. Everything is wasted. At this precise point of the story he knows. Tony knows that everything is lost. He is just standing here on a roof, looking at the deviated city in front of him. Somewhere over-there, so many dead bodies, too many for him.

He thinks about Nat and Clint, Vision and Wanda, Sam and Bucky. All dead. An explosion can be heard nearby, but Tony doesn’t care. He doesn’t care anymore about life. 

He thinks about Steve. Steve who had always supporting him, who accepted him, who loved him, who he betrayed and who is now dead in his arms protecting him, because of him.

Him.

The problem.

It’s always been him.

This is his inheritance. The world he contributed to create which is also the world where he lost everything.  
Like a nightmare, a deep voice comes from nowhere, like a echo, low and unavoidable: « I told you they would die for this ». So slowly, Tony stands up and faces the man who has been in his head for 6 years. Controlling himself, he tries to keep every inch of rage and sorrow inside.

He is prepared. He’s going to fight. 

After all, what more could he loose?


	2. Son

Tony couldn’t help it. Tears were falling down his cheeks and there’s nothing he could do about it. 

« You know that you’re incredibly soft around our kid? »

Steve was standing at the door, looking Peter and Tony playing. Tony smiled. Oh my god. He said it. THEIR kid.

« Not really. But I can be even softer if you want »

Steve laughed. That’s why he loves Tony so much. Coming closer, he sat down with them. Peter, captivated by the new car he had just received, didn’t seem to have noticed the dialogue. They stayed silent, watching Peter imagining stories.

« BADAHBOOO! » screamed Peter suddenly, throwing the little toy away. He stayed still three seconds, looking distant. Then he run toward Steve.

« What’s wrong kiddo? » Tony asked him, « are you hurt ? »

Watching his dad, Peter said no with his head. He sat down between steve’s legs, laying on his chest. Five minutes later, Peter was silently sleeping in Steve’s arms. Tony came closer to them laid his head on Steve’s shoulder while stroking Peter’s hair. This is beautiful. Too beautiful. Something is necessarily wrong. Steve looks at Tony, lost in his thought and noticed the sorrow in his husband’s eyes.

« What’s wrong Tony? You look like you’ll never see him again. »

« I don’t know... This is... unreal. Before you, everything I thought was going great in my life was destroyed at one point or another. I am just telling myself that this situation won’t be an exception. I mean, look at us. Captain América and Iron Man huh? What if I am not the one you need, the one Peter needs? I am unstable. I am the one who destroyed the Avengers remember? Ultron? Me. Civil War? Me. I fought you Steve! I hurt you and yet you forgave me. What if I hurt you again? What if Peter is hurt because of me? What if I am a bad example for him? What if-»

« Hey, hey, hey, stop this, look at me » Steve said, taking Tony’s cheeks with his hand while holding Peter with the other. « I refuse to hear you talking about you like this. Tony, you’re the most carrying person I know. Yes, you made mistakes, we all did. But after all, you tried to repair them and this is my proof that you are a good person. And if Peter has to become slightly like you, I would be the happiest dad and husband in the world. I love you Tony. Nothing can change that. Not even you. »

Tony smiled. What could he say? As long as he had Steve, everything would be okay. 

*Three hours later*

Nat and Clint entered Tony and Steve’s house.

« Tony? Steve? Are you here? We need an Avenger meeting right now. » Nat screamed. 

No response.

« Come on Nat let’s go looking from them »

« No, they are here. Jarvis was sure about their location. »

« Let’s take a look around then. Go check the rooms I’ll check outside»

Five minutes later, Nat called Clint: « Come here I found them. »

« Where are you? »

« In Peter’s room. But don’t make any noise. » 

« Why? »

« You’ll see »  
When Clint arrived in Peter’s room, nothing could have prepared him to see what he saw. On the floor, Steve was sleeping on his back with Peter relying on his chest, while Tony held them both in his arms, one in Peter’s hair and the other under Steve.

« Should we wake them up? » Clint asks.

« No. We can handle the meeting by ourselves. I think for once in their lives they deserve to be in peace. » answered Nat, smiling while looking at this strange scene. « We’ll call them after. They need to rest. »

That was all they asked for. To rest.


	3. Tear on the floor

Nothing can be heard in the lab. Silently, Tony reads the paper Jarvis just gave him. As he goes on reading, Tony’s face slowly changes. Rage, pain, deep sorrow. With an abrupt gesture, he throws the paper away and runs to the window. He needs air. It is like a hundred people are suddenly surrounding him, oppressing him.

« I am terribly sorry sir... »

Tony sits down and presses his forehead on the cold glass.

« *sighs* It’s me. I am sorry for not being strong enough... » 

« It’s nothing sir. You don’t need to be strong all the time. »

Tony gives a faint smile. And now his A.I is acting like a psychologist huh? He must be very disturbed. Tilting his chin down, he looks at the beautiful city stretching under him, thousands of beautiful lights shinning through the night. Maybe - he thinks - maybe one of them is him. How could he think that everything was going to be alright? How could he think he would have the chance to be happy for once in his life? He should have known that this happiness was to be temporary. It’s been like this all his life, why would this be different? Thousands of lights reflecting in the sky and yet Tony feels so cold in the big empty room. He feels every single hole opening in his heart and he is too much aware of the indicible pain screaming in his chest.

Tony doesn’t know how much time he stays here, just watching the night. After a while, he stands up. He needs to change his mind.

« Jarvis, unlock Mark 22 please. I need to get out of here. » 

« Will it be ok sir? »

« It has to. I can’t let this distract me. »

As tony suits up, Jarvis doesn’t say a word. But he’s been here long enough to say that it is not ok. Tony’s face right now, that face, Jarvis has never seen it before. Because deep down he knows. Jarvis knows that all what Tony does, the armors, the jokes, is to hide the sadness which has been hunting him for so many years. 

In his armor, Tony picks up the paper he threw and starts burning him before throwing it again.   
Watching it burning, Tony whispers:

« I am so sorry Steve... I am sorry I wasn’t the one you needed. »

Then he turns his back to the paper and starts walking to the window. Soon, only the ashes are remaining. The picture is gone, so is the sentence written with it. But Tony will remember it all his life. He won’t be able to forget it, Jarvis is certain about that. Cause Jarvis saw the paper. He saw the picture of Steve and Sharon, hand in hand, both smiling. He saw the sentence « you’re invited to the wedding! » Written in white. He knows nothing can fix what has just been broken. He knows nothing will ever be the same.

And right before Tony takes off, a tear falls on the floor.


	4. You and me

He wishes he had someone to rely on. That’s all that Tony has been thinking about for hours. Sitting in his bedroom, he has never felt more alone than today. When he went home a few hours ago, his apartment seemed too big, too cold. Too empty. That’s how he feels right now. Empty. His whole life has been a mess and he knows it. He lost his parents, he lost Pepper, everything that had importance for him is gone. And now, he is sure he is a loser. He is not even able to face his own feelings. The ones which have been growing inside him for a few months. Sometimes, he wishes he was just a normal person, with no responsibilities. Why? Why does he have to be strong all the time? Every night, he goes to bed, and every night he cries, because he has been holding these tears for too long. He cries alone in his room, where no-one can hear him. What would they think if they saw the great Tony Stark crying huh? He is scared. Scared to suffer again, as he did before. He has a big hole in his chest and he’s got the feeling that nothing can fix it. It’ll be like this forever. Sometimes, he hates himself to be so offhand, so sarcastic. But he knows deep down that all this mascarade is here to create a wall between him and people, to never let them see his weaknesses. He is in the dark, screaming but no-one can hear him. He can’t see anything. He is blind. It’s all dark around him. He is tired, too tired. Tired of having to be strong all the time, even if he doesn’t feel like this. Nobody can understand this. He fucking doesn’t want to be strong anymore. He just wants to have someone who would take him in his arms, would hug him and would say: « don’t worry, it’ll be okay. I’m here, nothing can happen to you ». He wishes someone would see through him, would see his soul, his fears, the part of him who prays for peace and protection for once. And over everything, he knows that he wants this from one person in particular. That is why it will never happen. He has to stop dreaming. Now he is crying. How pathetic he is. He is ugly, faithless, untrustworthy. He knows it.

«Don’t ever say that again. »

Tony jumps with surprise. Steve is here, standing at the door. It’s impossible. How did he hear that? He didn’t speak out loud, did he? Besides, how did Steve enter his apartment? Jarvis would have warned him if someone... Oh. He sees. Jarvis must have let Steve enter. Maybe it’s time to have a little conversation with his A.I.

« Why are you here Steve? What do you want?» Tony asks him, turning his back to Steve. 

« Why did you say that? »

« You weren’t supposed to be here. And you didn’t answer. »

« That’s not an answer either Tony and you know it. »

« Are you looking for a fight Rogers? Really? IS THAT WHY YOU’VE COME?» Tony yelled while striding angrily to Steve.

« I AM NOT LOOKING FOR A FIGHT, YOU DAMN IDIOT, I WAS WORRIED FOR YOU. » 

Tony stops dead. He must have heard wrong. That’s impossible.

« What did you say? »

« I huh... I was worried for you Tony. » Steve answers softly. « I don’t know... I feel like it’s been a while now that I have the feeling that something’s wrong and... » He stops three seconds, looking like he is looking for words. « And I was wondering if I could help you. I know it’s not always easy being us and Nat told me you’ve gone through a lot. I really appreciate you Tony and maybe huh... »

Steve closes his eyes, praying for courage. 

« I- I think I am in love with you Tony Stark. »

Tony is speechless. Shocked, he stands here in the middle of the room, watching Steve who is now blushing.

« Tony, look I know this might not be the right time to tell you this. I probably should have called you before but you know I was really worried and I don’t know maybe I thought I was my fault and I know it took me a while to realize it but I don’t want to let you go even if it means you have to hate me. When I lost Peggy, it was too difficult. It can’t afford to lose you too. »

Still no response from Tony.

« I am sorry Tony. I know it must be hard for you but please can you say something? Yell at me, hit me but please- »

Before realizing it, Tony had come closer to Steve and was hugging him. Even if Steve is surprised, he sighs in relief before closing his arms around Tony. He doesn’t know how much time they stay in this position but when Steve starts moving again, Tony thinks that it was really too short. Steve moves to the window and watches outside.

« So huh... What do you say? » he asks, his voice full of hope and distress.

One more time, Tony doesn’t answer. But now he knows what he has to do. Smiling, he walks slowly towards Steve, who doesn’t dare to move. Without hesitation, he takes Steve’s cheek in his hand and presses his lips on Steve’s. From that moment, it’s like someone has lightened fireworks inside Tony’s chest. A soft heat hits his heart and it’s like he is connected with his soul again. Everything seems fine again, like the pain he felt has never been here. Fireworks in his heart, his chest, his stomach. Nothing has ever seemed to have more sense for him than this. Steve. He, who felt so down 10 minutes ago, is now so happy that tears are falling on his cheeks. Happy tears this time. He feels like this is it. This is where he’s meant to be. It doesn’t take too long before Steve kisses Tony back. When they pull away, Tony still senses Steve’s presence on his lips.

« Is it clear as an answer? » Tony laughs.

« I am not quite sure. » Steve claims, bitting his lips. « Maybe you should answer me again, just to be sure that I’ll understand this time. »

« Hey, don’t be silly. And don’t get used to it. What’s rare is even more precious, you know. »

« Don’t worry too much for this, I don’t think I’ll be ever tired of you. » Steve giggles, giving a faint smile.

They stay silent for a while, both in thoughts.

« So... what do you do now? » Tony inquires.

Taking a deep breath, Steve takes Tony’s hand. Fireworks again.

« We start living. » he replies, looking Tony in his eyes. « You and me. » And Tony believes him.


	5. I do

Is it real? He is not sure anymore. On this soft Sunday of May, the sun is shining through the window. Tony looks at the mirror one more time. He wants everything to be perfect. He’s dressed in a beautiful black suit, a white shirt and black shoes. On his finger, the ring Steve gave him when he proposed is sitting. He just hopes he won’t ruin everything. He can’t let the stress get to him. So many doubts and questions are going through his head. Deep breath. No. It’s okay. It will be okay. After all, he has Steve, right?

"Honey, are you ready? They’re all waiting for us."

Steve enters the room. Tony’s eyes are drawn to look at his soon-to-be husband in the mirror. He looks wonderful. His blue satin suit matches his eyes perfectly. His hair is still a bit wet reflecting the sun as though it was made of the shiniest polished metal. Beautiful.

"I know it is supposed to bring bad luck but... you look absolutely splendid." 

Steve laughs.

"You're not bad either. Did I tell you that these pants fit your butt nicely?"

"So my butt is the only thing you're interested in Rogers?" answers Tony, making that annoyed face Steve loves so much.

"Don't give me that face Tony, you know what it does to me" supplies Steve. 

"That’s your punishment for being sassy the day we're getting married."

As soon as the words leave his mouth, Tony's face turns dark. He looks at the mirror again, lost in his thoughts. Feeling Tony's anxiety, Steve comes closer, put his arms around Tony’s chest, takes his hands lovingly. He slowly kisses his neck.

"Tony, what's wrong? You know you can trust me."

Tony closes his eyes and rests his head on Steve's shoulder.

"I don't know... It seems too beautiful Steve. You know better than anyone does how much of a mess I am. My whole life has been a mess and I feel like… Huh I don't know. I really don't know. I don't want to turn your life into a mess as well. That’s the last thing I’d ever want. Are you sure you want to do this?"

For five seconds, Steve stays silent. He’s searching for the best words to answer his beloved.

"I think it's common to have doubts you know. I have been thinking about it as well and at the end, there's no world, no version of the story where I am happy without you. I know it. Whatever it takes, I'll always love you Tony Stark, no doubts about this."

Steve presses his forehead against Tony's, sharing some of his serenity. Suddenly, a huge sound was heard from the room next door.

"I feel like someone is losing patience." notices Tony. 

"Yes, maybe it's time to let him in, don't you think?"

As soon as Steve opens the door, an excited ten-year-old boy runs into the room. 

"Dad! Dad! Look how polite I am!" exclaims Peter, giving his dad a radiant smile.

"Hey kiddo, it seems like you win the beauty contest!" responds Tony, hugging his son. Peter is wearing the same suit as Tony, except for the shoes, the same as Steve's.

"Are you ready Pete?" asks Tony, taking his son by the hand.

"Yes, I am!"

Peter gives his hand to his other dad and starts making his way outside. When they arrive in the garden, everyone turns back to look at them. Nat, Clint, Vision, Wanda… They are all here, smiling at the cute family image.

"Pete, go and sit with aunt Nat okay sweetheart?" murmurs Steve at Peter’s ear.

"Okay, dad."

Peter runs and sits cross-legged on Nat’s knees.

"Are you ready Steve?"

"I have never been more ready Tony."

No noise could be heard while Tony and Steve were taking their vows. There was only the wind, sounding as if the trees were humming around them. The sunlight shines on the sweet couple.

"Tony, — says the priest — do you take Steve to be your husband, to live together in marriage? Do you promise to love him, comfort him, honor and keep him at your side for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and health, and forsaking all others, be faithful only to him, for as long as you both shall live?"

"I do."

Tony closes his eyes and smiles. Nothing can express what he is feeling right now. So much happiness should be forbidden.

"And Steve, do you take Tony to be your husband, to live together in marriage? Do you promise to love him, comfort him, honor and keep him at your side for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and health, and forsaking all others, be faithful only to him, for as long as you both shall live?"

No response.

"Steve?"

Tony opens his eyes again. Steve isn't in front of him anymore.

"What the f- is going on, - Tony turns back to find Nat - Nat have you seen-"

No, it can't be. What is happening, what's wrong? No one is here either. Nat, Vis, Peter... all gone. Tony doesn't feel very well. He doesn't understand. Where are they? Why are they gone? WHAT THE F- IS GOING ON? He can't breathe. He needs air. He needs to breathe again or to wake up. It is just a dream. A nightmare. He has to wake up and everything will be fine again.

"STEVE! WHERE ARE YOU?"

Tony yells. He screams as much as he can to find Steve. He needs Steve, he needs his husband. For his own survival. He can't live without Steve, that's unthinkable. If he loses Steve, he loses his home. He needs to find him.  
A hand appears suddenly to touch his shoulder. Tony jumps up in fright. It's Steve.

"Steve, Jesus cries, where were you? Are you okay? Why did you-"

He can't go on. As he turns to face Steve, he can't believe what he is seeing. Steve looks like he has been shot a thousand times. Multiples opened wounds can be spotted all over his body. He is completely bare, all hair gone. There’s so much blood. Everywhere. His old Captain America suit is entirely ragged.

"You could have saved me, Tony."

"What?"

Steve's voice was so low that he nearly didn’t catch it.

"You could have saved me. You SHOULD have saved me."

"What do you mean Steve? I don't understand."

Steve doesn't answer and starts walking away.

"Wait Steve come back!"

Tony tries to hold Steve back but he can't move as if he was stuck to the ground.

"Steve! Please, come back! Don't leave me, I need you! Steve! Steve, please!"

 

"Steve, no! » - Tony suddenly wakes up in his bed. He is sweaty and shivering. His heart is beating as though it was trying to come out of his chest.

"Dad, are you all right? I heard you screaming."

Peter is at the door, with his pyjama and his teddy bear, the one Steve oﬀered him last Christmas.

"Yes, I am. I am really sorry if I woke you up kiddo. It was just a nightmare, you see?" Peter looks at his dad and Tony feels like Peter could see right through him.

"It was daddy again, wasn’t it?"

Clever boy. Tony can’t believe how mature Peter can be sometimes despite his young age.

"Yes, it was daddy."

"Was it like last time when you dreamt about your first meeting with him?"

"No, it wasn’t like this sweetheart. This time, he called for my help but I couldn’t do anything. I just couldn’t move. I’m so sorry Pete… I wish I could bring your daddy back."

Peter crosses the room and jumps on Tony’s bed. Shuffling closer, he hugs Tony and says:  
"It’s okay dad. It’s not your fault. He is the one who left us." 

Tony wraps his arms tight around Peter.

"Can I sleep with you tonight?"

"Sure kiddo."

As they try to fall sleep, Tony thinks that, even with Peter, the bed seems too big for just the two of them. In his sleep, Peter huddles against Tony. Stroking his son’s hair, Tony can’t seem to erase the image of Steve hurt and hopeless from his mind.

And right before he fell asleep, Tony whispered: "As long as I live, I promise."


	6. Eternity

« Do you want some? »

Steve opens his mouth to take the popcorn Tony was holding between his fingers.

« Yerk, it’s too salty. »

« Come on, don’t be a baby Rogers. »

« Don’t you mean Stark-Rogers? »

« Nope. You’re only Rogers when you act like a baby. »

Steve scowls and starts mumbling under his nose. Tony could only catch words like « worst husband ever » and « I’m not a baby. »

« Shhh honey, that was a joke. You know I love you. »

Tony strokes Steve’s hair and looks through the window. It was really a beautiful day. The sun was out and the trees were dancing at the wind’s discretion. For once, Tony and Steve were both home, enjoying each other’s company. Those moments were so rare since they always had busy schedules. They had been watching movies and series on TV while eating popcorn for four hours already. Tony was lying on the sofa, with Steve’s lying across his lap and his head resting on his chest. Steve loves being in that position. He’s not sure why, but Tony is a particularly comfortable pillow. He loves hearing Tony’s heartbeat right there next to his ear. He loves the sensation of his head going up and down, matching with Tony’s breathing. He finds it extremely relaxing and could stay there all day.

« Do you wanna change the channel? » Tony asks.

« Do what you want sweetheart, I don’t care. »

Tony starts flipping through channels. Steve closes his eyes and concentrates on the sounds coming from the television. He feels like he could fall asleep like this and never want to wake up  
again. Different sounds. Tony must have switched again. Gunshots and explosions could be  
heard. A plane takes off but soon enough, it gets taken down.

« Mayday, mayday, —the pilot screams— I’m losing control, I’m about to crash! »

Flashbacks and short images cross his mind. Plane. Him as a pilot. The ocean approaching quickly as he plows into it. Water, so much water, too much. He is going to crash, he is going to-

« Steve, STEVE, oh my god, what’s wrong? Steve, can you hear me? »

Steve hears Tony’s voice but he is unable to answer. Tony seemed so far and the ocean was only getting closer.

« Steve, please, talk to me, I swear- »

Steve tries to answer but his mouth is full of water. The cold liquid is stuffing his nose, ripping his lungs apart, numbing his body. He feels so heavy. A billion torturous arms seem to be dragging him to the bottom of the ocean. He is going to die. He doesn’t want to die.

 

It seems like a year has passed before he opens his eyes again and air finally enters his lungs again. He couldn’t remember how but Tony managed to move him. They were still on the sofa, but now they’re facing each other and Tony is straddling him. They are both holding each other, Steve’s face buried in Tony’s neck while Tony strokes his hair. His body is still shaking. His fingers are white from gripping Tony’s shirt. He managed to tear holes in it. It is completely destroyed.

Tony sighs out of relief: « It’s over now baby. Just keep breathing. You’re safe, I promise, just breathe. »

Steve focuses on his beloved’s voice. « I‘m sorry » is all he manages to whisper.

« Don’t be, please. I’m sorry, I should have known. I am so sorry. »

« It’s…okay…just…need…you… »

« Shhh, I’m right here. »

«’m sorry ‘bout your shirt. »

« Oh, don’t worry. You don’t like it, I got it. »

Steve laughs. He feels better. However…

« Can we stay like this a little longer? » he supplies.

« As long as you want, baby. Eternity if it pleases you. »

Steve smiles. « Eternity with you, it sounds like a good deal. » He wraps his arms tighter around his lover. Yeah, eternity seems definitely great to him. It seems perfect. After all, who wouldn’t want to feel at home forever?


	7. Missing you

« Steve, where are you? »

Tony whispers alone as he sits on the fountain’s edge. He has been walking for two hours now and yet, he doesn’t feel any better. It’s even getting worse. He tries his best to breathe as deep as he can but his shaking hands and legs betray him. Gosh, not again, please. It’s been a month since Steve left for a mission and one month since his attacks started again. He knows that when he married Steve, he accepted his life as well. He tries to deal with it, to control it, going outside for a walk like he is doing right now. The sun shines brightly, no clouds can be spotted in the sky, a soft wind skims his skin. It should be a great day, peaceful, but he can’t help it. His work can only distract him for a few hours but anytime he comes back home, he is gripped by the deafening silence of the room. He knows it, he knows he needs Steve to be okay, to feel okay. Steve is home and without him, Tony has the feeling that a part of his soul has been taken away from him. He is not complete this way. A hole rips his chest apart just by thinking about it.

« God, please, Steve, come here, come back to me, I need you. » Supplies Tony, halting and whimpering.

He feels ridiculous, even childish. Of course, Steve won’t answer, he is not here. However, deep down, Tony really hopes for a sign. His biggest dream right now is to receive a message saying: « I’m heading back home. » He puts his head in his hands, to escape reality. It’s been one month but it feels like an eternity for Tony. Steve’s shape has nearly disappeared from the mattress. His scent is lost in the air. Dust starts dropping off his clothes in the wardrobe. Tony closes his eyes. Maybe it’s just a dream. Maybe he will wake up in a few seconds, Steve sleeping next to him. The bed is so cold. Every day, Tony wakes up on the wrong side of the bed, as if his subconscious was looking for Steve too. He feels so empty. Maybe he cried so much that all his feelings have been removed from his heart, from his chest. He feels like nothing could make him happy again, as if happiness has even never existed. He feels… a warm hand on his back?

« Shhhhh… Tony calm down, I am here. »

Two arms suddenly wrap his torso. Tony stops breathing. He knows this sensation so well, especially the way it is done. He recognizes the voice, deep, soothing, a melody to his ears. He recognizes the perfume, so familiar, heady, unique, the one which makes him feel home. 

« Tony please baby, breathe. It’s okay, I am here, I am right here I won’t leave you ever again. I promise. So please breathe, I beg you. »

Listening to the voice, Tony lets air coming through his nose again.

« Yes, that’s it, honey. You’re okay, you’ll be fine. I’ll be here with you. This was my last mission, I’m coming home for good. I’ll always be with you from now on.»

He feels a kiss on his neck. Butterflies blow up in his stomach. Only one person has the ability to make him feel this way. He turns around and looks in his lover’s eyes. So many things he wants to say but no sounds can escape his mouth. He just stays here, speechless. Steve smiles and takes Tony’s cheeks in his hand. Then, tenderly, he presses his lips on Tony’s in an innocent kiss. Time stops. They are alone, in their own bubble, where no one can distract them. Soon, Tony has placed his hand on Steve’s neck, urging for more. As soon as he opens his mouth, Steve’s tongue comes to play with his lips. Every tension, every fear, every piece of anxiety he had held all this time, Tony tries to express them through this kiss. When Steve pulls away, tears can be spotted in his eyes. 

« I missed you so much, you can’t even imagine… » Tony manages to whisper.

« Sure I can… Tony, this month has been a torture for me. Why didn’t you tell me about your attacks? »

« I didn’t wanna worry you. »

Steve sighs. « Tony, I’m your husband, remember? You need to tell me everything, even if you think it’s nothing. For the better and the worst, I promised to love you. »

He can’t hold them. Tears are falling on his cheeks and there’s nothing he can do to stop them. Steve approaches his face from Tony’s and kisses his cheeks, catching every single tear that his beloved lets go. 

« Wait, did you just say that it was your last mission? » 

« Yes, I did. I- I can’t go on like this. I can’t let you having attacks any time I’m not home and anyway I don’t wanna be far away from you anymore. You’re my energy. It’s not fair being so far. I’ve spent my life doing missions over and over again. I need a break. We both do. You’re the only thing I wanna focus on right now.» Steve steps back and nervously wrings his fingers. « Look, I’m really sorry I had to leave you once more. If only I knew about your anxiety, I would never-»

« How did you know where to catch me? » 

Tony cuts Steve short. He absolutely doesn’t want Steve to feel guilty. He isn’t responsible for what happened in his life, for what caused his crisis. On the contrary, he is the one who can make him calm, something he hadn’t feel for a while before meeting him. The last thing he wants is Steve feeling bad because of him. He wouldn’t put up with it and it would destroy him for sure and for good. Steve looks at Tony. He is not really sure about what to do. Is Tony mad or hurt? Given the choice, he would prefer Tony to be mad. Nothing but seeing his better half suffering once again. He is ready to face everything, but not the deep pain he read on Tony’s face a moment ago. It broke his heart. He hesitates before answering slowly.

« Jarvis. He is always connected to you. He called me last night after your crisis. Apparently, you were calling me in your sleep.»

Of course, he was. Every single night, Steve comes to hunt him in his dream. Every single night, Tony wakes up and cries in disappointment. Jarvis is the only person helping him not to get completely insane when Steve is away. He has to thank him later. Tony takes Steve in his arms again. He needs to be sure it’s not just a dream. He wants to feel Steve’s body under his fingers, to merge with him again. He missed Steve’s warmth so hard. He can’t get tired of his perfect features. He wants to draw them, over and over again, every single day and night of his life. Steve doesn’t talk, but Tony feels that same energy, that same desire in his eyes. They don’t need to speak. A single look is enough. 

« Come on honey, — Steve takes his hand —, let’s go home. »


	8. Stay with me

« Gosh, it feels so good! » That’s what went through Steve’s mind as hot water hit his skin. It had been a pretty rough day. Despite what people could think, protecting the planet was much more than a part-time job. All day long, he had to run from one end of the city to another, arresting criminals and protecting everyone. Reaching behind him, he tries to catch the shower gel. The stiffness he feels will take a few days to calm down. Maybe he’ll need to massage his muscles with oil. He can’t afford to be in pain while fighting, it would only distract him and he needs to stay focused in order to stay alive. He looks at his arm, where an open wound could be spotted. He was lucky today. One centimeter to the left and it would have been his heart. He is eligible for another of Tony homily, even though he knows that Tony only does it because he worries about him. He lets out a sigh. He will have to face his husband sooner or later. But right now, Tony isn’t home. He’s probably still working at the Avengers HQ, updating his suits or improving Nat’s spy gadgets. Thank God, it will give him time to treat the wound and maybe cook dinner for his lover. He can’t tell when was the last time they did this, just spending time together. Steve’s face turns dark. The last time he and Tony spoke was three days ago. Between his job and Tony’s, they can’t see each other, much less talk. When Steve leaves, Tony comes back from a busy night and when Steve finally heads back home, Tony is already gone again. He can’t even remember the last time they had a full conversation or just more than the « -morning honey. -bye, sweetheart» dialogue. Maybe it’s time to talk to Fury, just to see if they could reach an agreement on getting his old life back. Suddenly, he hears a rumble outside. Before Steve could get out of the shower, all lights switch oﬀ. Steve holds his breath. He hates being in the dark. Too many bad memories come back to haunt him. He tries to get out of the shower but he slips and grabs the shower’s thermostat, turning the water to freezing cold. « SHIT! » He hates to cuss but the situation allows it for once. His body starts shaking. The cold water and the darkness surrounding him remind him of the crash. No, he can’t think about this. Not now. He has to get out of here. He has to- He is in the plane again. Millions of tons of water crush him. He tries to breathe but water seeps in his nose and he is unable to spit it out. He feels the coldness feeling his body, reaching as deep as his soul. He feels every single cell freezing. Half conscious of his actions, Steve pushes the shower’s door. He catches his towel. He has to turn the light on. But it’s too dark, and he is so cold. Too weak to support him, his legs give way. He falls on the tiles and can’t seem to stand up again. Totally petrified, he rolls up into a ball and starts crying. He doesn’t want to be strong anymore. He only want to be protected. His wound hurts, and his current position doesn’t make it any better. He is so tired. He doesn’t know how he managed to hold everything for so long. Now that everything comes back to him, it’s as though nothing can save me now. He just stays there, crying silently.

« Steve, are you home? »

A voice gets Steve out of his fog. Yet, he is unable to answer. His mouth is dry, so are his closed eyes by dint of crying. He doesn’t know how much time he stayed there. Lights are on again, he sees it through his eyelids, and water is still flowing in the shower.

« Steve, are you in the- OH MY GOD STEVE ARE YOU OKAY? »

Tony runs in the room as soon as he sees his husband laying on the floor, a single towel covering him. Immediately, he puts one hand on Steve’s forehead and grabs his beloved’s hand with the other. He notices the blood on the floor.

« God Steve you’re burning up! Why are you laying there? Where does that blood come from?  
What happened? »

Tony’s voice quivers. As he speaks, Tony manages to pick Steve up and heads to the bedroom. He sees the wound on Steve’s arm. Tony’s heart clenches. Why didn’t he call him? He could have gotten home earlier! Something must have happened. Steve swore to call him if needed, and Tony knows that he keeps his promises. Steve still doesn’t answer, barely awake. His body hasn’t stopped shaking and he is sweating a lot. Tony furrows his brows in worry. He has never seen him like this. First, he needs warm him up. He puts Steve in the bed and covers him with the blanket. He can finally focus on the source of all that blood.

« Jarvis, where did we put the first-aid kit again? »

« In the bathroom Sir. It’s under the sink. »

Tony grabs it and returns to the bedroom. Steve hasn’t moved. He is still trembling and bleeding. Tony knows that Steve probably can’t hear him but he tries to talk to him, to get him to calm down.

« I’m going to treat your injury, okay, honey? »

He cleans it with cotton. Thank God, it is only superficial. No need to call an ambulance. Carefully, he bandages Steve’s arm and covers him with the comforter again. He goes to the kitchen and fills him a glass of water. Steve has been sweating too much and he wants to prevent dehydration. Not without difficulty, Steve drinks it all. He is so pale. His head drops again on the pillow. Tony feels helpless, watching his better half battling against fever. Tears start forming at the corner of his eyes. Seeing Steve like this is the most heartbreaking thing he’s ever noticed. He looks so frail as if a single touch could break him to pieces. He gently strokes Steve’s hair. He wishes he could take all his pain away.

« Why didn’t you call me, moron… » Tony exhales the biggest sigh of his life. Now, all he can do is wait for him to heal. He just hopes he won’t get worse. He tries to stand but a hand catches his arm before he can leave. Tony turns around and looks down at Steve. Semiconscious, Steve whispers something softly enough that Tony bring himself closer to hear.

« Tony… »

« Shhhh, honey. — He kisses Steve’s temple — I’m right here. Don’t talk, just rest. »

« Stay… »

How could he refuse? Steve’s voice is full of sadness and despair. Once again, Tony thinks that something must have happened. Steve is usually so strong, and never complains. Of course, Tony encourages him to tell him everything because he shouldn’t have to carry the weight of the world on his shoulder. At least, not alone. On the other hand, he is aware that lately, they barely had time to look after each other. He misses the old times, where they didn’t have to save the world every day. Tony takes oﬀ his clothes, just keeping his underwear and slips gently under the covers. Steve turns over and wraps his arms around Tony’s torso, burying his face in Tony’s chest. He wraps his left arm around Steve’s chest and he brings his free hand to his lover’s cheek. He wraps his legs around his husband’s waist, to make sure he feels warm and protected. He holds him tightly. He wants to feel him in every way possible. Judging by his slow and regular breathing, Steve has fallen asleep. Tony buries his face in Steve’s hair. « I’m always going to protect you I swear,» he whispers to him lovingly. He closes his eyes and it barely takes him three seconds to fall asleep too. When he opens them again, the sun has disappeared to make room for the moon. It must be three or four in the morning. Even though he hasn’t slept like this in a while, Tony still feels tired. He takes Steve’s temperature. It seems to be normal again. With his fingertips, he draws Steve’s facial features. Suddenly, he freezes. Steve is moving and Tony is way too aware of his hot body moving against him. His breath quickens. He tries to pull himself out but Steve holds him back. Tony hates himself. How can he be thinking about this in such a situation? Steve’s sick, and it’s the worse time to think about- Steve opens his eyes. For a few seconds, he looks completely lost, wondering how he managed to get to bed. Then he notices Tony’s presence and stops breathing.

« Tony? »

« Y-Yes? »

Steve stands up straight and stretches out.

« What happened? »

Tony laughs. Steve looks so lost, looking at him with a confused frown. He is so happy to see him fine again. He regained some colors and he is not sweating anymore.  
« To be honest, I don’t really know, but you can’t imagine how much I was worried. I found you laying on the bathroom’s floor, completely frozen and feverish. You were bleeding too, and you were unconscious! You weren’t responding and you couldn’t stop crying. I nearly had a heart attack. I managed to bring you here and to treat your wounds but you held onto me and I couldn’t  
leave you alone so I stayed. »

He prefers to keep the « hot body mishap » to himself. He still recovering and he can’t touch him in this state. Steve’s blue eyes suddenly darken. Lights oﬀ, panic attack, cold water, everything gets back to him.

« Oh yes, I remember… »

« Steve, what is it? I have never seen you like this. It’s not like you, you’re so strong and- »

He can’t go on. Tony loses his voice when he sees tears falling down Steve’s jaw. It’s unbelievable. He doesn’t really know what to say.

« Steve huh… Look, if I said or did something that hurt you I’m really sorry I didn’t mean it I swear.  
I love you. »

« It’s not you Tony… — he wipes his eyes — I am just so tired. I always have to be strong, always have to set the tone, even if I don’t want to. I fight every day along with people who aren’t even 25 yet. They still have so much to discover and they stand here, facing death every second. They look up to me, and they wait for my orders, trusting me their lives. And every time I say something, I am scared stiﬀ of sending them right to their death. I am scared Tony, I’m so scared all the time. And I can’t show it because they need me, because it is my duty not to fail or to show any semblance of weakness. I just want… I don’t know, I don’t even know what I want but I don’t know how much time I will be able to go on like this.»

Tony is now crying as well. Every word Steve said felt like a stab to the heart. He knows what Steve must be feeling, he knows what it’s like to be scared to fail, to be pressured on, to be afraid of your decisions because you know you might kill someone if you don’t make the right one. He knows everything about this. But here, words are useless. Believe him, he already tried. No word can express the way they feel. There’s just one thing he can do to help. Slowly, he get closer to Steve and surround him with his legs. He is just one centimeter away from Steve’s chest and he can feel his warmth. Steve’s body is so hot. With his tongue, he catches one tear falling down on Steve’s right cheek. His skin is so soft and sweet. He forgot how much he loved the taste of it. Sustaining his momentum, he goes down his neck and starts sucking his lover’s skin. Feeling electrified, Steve’s body is crossed by a jolt of pleasure. Tony’s fingers brush his chest, fondle his ribs and go around his torso. With his right hand, Steve grabs Tony’s waist and brings him closer. Tony lets a moan slip. He pulls back and looks at Steve right in the eyes. They are both breathing deeper than a few seconds ago. Steve smiles. He missed this, he missed the sensation of his husband’s body on him, he missed the proximity. He places a hand in Tony’s messy hair and kisses his lips. And Tony welcomes him, opening his mouth, asking for more. Steve’s tongue slips inside and plays with his lover’s lips. Steve loves him. He can’t wait to be one with Tony. When he starts moving his hips, Tony lets a loud moan slip. Using his strength, Steve tips over his body and pushes Tony against the bed. Pinning Tony’s arms above his head with his hands, Steve gently kisses Tony’s chest multiples times, from his neck to his hips. With his fingertips, he grazes his underwear. Tony arches his back. Judging by his expression, he is in agony.

« Steve… » Tony begs.

He tries to escape but Steve is too strong and he blocks him with his legs. A little sadistic faint smile crosses his face. When it comes to teasing Tony, he never lacks imagination. He loves to push him to the limit, to get him down on his knees. He knows he should probably give Tony what he wants, but he loves to play with him more. Burying his face in Tony’s neck, he starts suckling onto his skin, perfectly aware of how sensitive Tony is there. He makes his way to his ear and nibbles on it. He can hear Tony’s heavy breath. He is still moving his hips and he knows that finish him off this way. He goes back to Tony’s face and nibbles on his lips. Tony’s moans electrify him. Their skins touch, move away, meet again, merge. Everything they fear, everything they keep deep down comes to the surface and feed their mutual passion. The outside world doesn’t exist anymore. The world could be burning and they wouldn’t care. It’s just the two of them, two husbands meeting again after a long time being away from each other. Steve sets Tony free, only to remove his underwear. He is going to explode if he doesn’t touch him right now.

« Steve, please, it’s killing me… » Tony manages to whisper.

Sometimes, he wishes they could have met earlier. Maybe he wouldn’t have suffered that much if they did. Now, all he can do is protect him from ever getting hurt again. Without warning, Steve grabs his arms and turns him over. He gently bites his nape and licks his shoulder blade.

« Are you ready? »

« Y- Yes please, Steve, I’m begging you, just do it. I can’t hold it anymore! »

Tony buries his face in the sheets and grasps the blanket. In this position, the muscles of his back are clearly showing. Steve freezes, hypnotized by how good Tony looks, as though a Greek statue had come to life. He shakes his head to focus on the moment again. Slowly, he slips his hand under Tony and starts to masturbate him. It’s meant to be. Whatever happens now, they both want to face it together. Together, always. Tony would like this to last forever. No missions, no Avengers, just him and Steve, loving each other for the rest of their lives. Steve intensifies his moves, making them faster. Tony, well determined to not let his husband unsatisfied, turns around and in perfect synchronization with his lover, stimulates him as well. Trying to stay focused again, Steve closes his eyes and catches Tony’s lips with his. He tries to put all his feeling in this kiss, conveying his passion, fears, and promises to the man he loves.

« Tony, I- I don’t know if I can… hold it… anymore… »

« It’s okay honey. Just come to me. I love you. »

They’re looking at each other. The moon’s light reflects on Steve’s eyes. « This is the last thing I want to see before dying. » Tony thinks. It looks like a galaxy. As if a billion stars were caught and mixed with the deep blue of the ocean, just to create the perfect iris he is looking at right now. He could stay hours like this, getting lost in this universe. When they both come, Steve buries his face in Tony’s neck, just to feel him more. They are both sweaty and breathing deeply. Exhausted, Steve collapses on Tony, who takes him in his arms. They just stay here, in peace. 

 

Five minutes later, Tony is alone in bed, waiting for Steve to finish showering. He still can’t get over how desperate his husband looked when he woke up earlier.

« Tony, what’s on your mind? »

Steve is back, a towel around his waist. He sits on the bed and takes Tony’s hands in his. He tilts his chin and frowns, waiting for an answer.

« It’s not- »

« Don’t you dare say it’s nothing. I can feel it and it’s not. You have to trust me, Tony. We’re a pair.» 

Tony sighs. It seems like he can’t escape now.

« I want to go with you on your missions. »

« Tony, we have already talked about this. I refuse. Having you on the field would only be a distraction for me and I can’t take the risk of losing you. It’s a no, definitely a no. »

« I could say the same for you! You leave every day to protect people, and I have to wait, not knowing if you will return or not. »

« This is not a negotiation Tony. I said no. You’re not coming. » Steve takes a deep breath, before adding: « and neither am I. »

«Hold on. What? »

« I talked to Fury yesterday. I’ll only go out for special missions. Avengers one. — he smiles — It’s over. We’ll always be together from now on. »

Tony doesn’t answer but Steve can see the relief and happiness on his face. Tony stands up and starts walking out. Right before going through the door, he turns his head.

« Round 2 in the shower? »

« Tony, I just washed. »

« Okay, okay, if you don’t want to… »

« No, no! —He joins Tony and takes oﬀ the towel — I might need to shower again. » he answers,  
winking.

« So round 2? »

Steve tilts his head and kisses Tony’s temple.

« Round 2. »

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just wanna say thank you for reading me. Already 400 hits it's incredible for me. It might seem to be not that important, but it means a lot to me! Also, don't hesitate to comment and tell me what you would like to read more, give constructive opinions cause I really wanna improve and as readers, you're the best to do it. Thanks so much again and see you soon for more Stony content. 
> 
> P.S: I watched endgame on the 23rd and i'm still dead inside ><


	9. Before it's too late

« Hey Wanda, have you seen Nat? »

« Last time I saw her she was in the kitchen, Clint. »

Clint walks to the kitchen. A delicious cake smell is floating in the air. Judging by the smell of lemon, it must be Pepper's famous lemon and ginger cake. Glass noises resonate. The tower of the Avengers, usually so quiet, is for one evening the scene of festivities. After all, it is not every day that they can celebrate the fall of Hydra. Arriving at the door, Clint glances around the room and localizes Nat, sitting on a stool. She seems to be in the middle of a discussion with Carol. Clint smiles. He sincerely hopes that their relationship will evolve. They both deserve it. 

« Lost in your thoughts Hawkeye? »

Clint startles. He hadn't heard Steve approaching behind him. 

« I look after my best friend. I don't think it's against the law. »

Steve laughs. « No, I don't think so either. » 

« Are you all right, Captain? I know this kind of party isn't really your usual thing. »

« It's okay, don't worry. And then it's the team. - he looks around - It's a bit like a big family reunion. Even Jarvis is on board. »

« Speaking of Jarvis, have you seen Tony? He was supposed to improve some of our gadgets, but I haven't heard from him. »

Steve frowns and stares at his glass. Clint bites his lip. He forgot how complicated it was between Steve and Tony. For almost one month, they have been under constant tension as soon as they are in the same room. So that even he never knows if they're going to kiss or fight. When Tony declared his love to Steve, shortly before their attack on one of the last hydra bases, it surprised everyone, Steve first. Not knowing what to do, Steve preferred not to answer and ran away from the room. Tony then shut himself off and has been acting as if nothing had happened. However, Clint noticed the little twitch in his hand every time Steve walks into the room. He noticed that no matter what happens, Tony manages not to be alone with Steve in a room. He noticed that Tony never looks at Steve directly. But above all, he noticed Steve's look when he lays eyes on Tony, that look that says everything about his feelings.

« You know, you should talk to him,» he says seriously.

« Talk to who? »

« Tony, of course. » 

« And why should I do that? » 

« Because if this goes on and Nat gets involved, you won't resist for very long. I feel that she is getting tired of it, and knowing her, she would be able to lock you in a room for several days. You know she would. » 

Steve sighs. « I didn’t know it was so obvious… But I can’t do that. »

« Look, I know it's hard, but you should do it before it's too late. And by too late, I mean before Nat kills one of you. » 

« I'll think about it, okay? »

Steve smiles and presses his hand on Clint's shoulder. Wanting to change his mind, he wanders through the room. There are many people, the Avengers of course but also other people he has never seen. Without realizing it, his steps lead him to the side of the bar, where Tony is in the middle of a conversation with a man. And even though he doesn’t know him, Steve hates him immediately. Not wishing to be noticed, he sits on the other side of the bar.

« Jarvis, does Tony wear his earpiece? »

« Yes, Captain. »

« Log me in. »

« I’m not sure Mr. Stark would want- »

« Log me in Jarvis. »

Steve turns his own emitter on. Instantly, Tony's voice reaches him. Still talking to the man, he doesn't seem to have noticed that the red light on his earpiece has come on, symbolizing Steve's intrusion. 

« So apparently you designed that tower,» The man says, looking around.

Tony laughs. Steve's heart misses a beat. God, he loves that laugh. 

« I built this tower. Literally. I literally lifted tons. »

« Very impressive. And I suppose it's from here that all missions are managed. »

Steve sighs. He had never thought that the situation would evolve this way. When he ran away, it’s not because he didn’t want to respond but because he was really confused about his own feelings. He had only loved Peggy before, and he didn’t expect to fall in love with a man, especially Tony. He had to take time to sort out his feelings before coming back. But since then, Tony has been avoiding him and he hasn’t found a single time to talk to him alone. He blames himself for waiting so long. He should have fixed the situation earlier. Maybe he would be the one making Tony laugh tonight. Steve watches the stranger. The way he looks at Tony makes Steve want to crush his face. The man suddenly takes Tony’s hand. Worth of all, Tony doesn’t push him away. Steve feels his whole body stretching. He tightens the edge of the table so tightly that the joints of his hands are white. He focuses on their conversation again.

« Listen - the man looks at Tony’s hand, still in his - I know it might be strange but… are you single at the moment? »

Steve screams internally. « NO! » he thinks, « HE IS FREACKING NOT SINGLE. »

« Kinda, yes »

Steve’s jaw drops. Of all the answers Tony could have given, he never imagined that this would be the one he would choose. He is so shocked that he remains paralyzed. He can’t move, even when the stranger starts dragging Tony behind him as they leave the room. He knows he messed up when he abandoned him, but he would never have thought that Tony would draw a line under him so easily. It takes several minutes before he recovers his motor skills. Gathering his thoughts, he stands up and decides to follow the duo from a distance. 

« Jarvis, localize them with the security cameras, please. »

Following Jarvis' instructions, Steve catches up with Tony and the stranger as they enter the elevator. They are still holding hands. By the time Steve decides if he needs to intervene, the doors have already closed. 

« Shit… »

Cursing himself, he runs toward the stairs. 

« Jarvis, which floor? »

«52nd floor, Cap »

52nd? Does it mean that… No, it can’t be. Not so fast. Steve turns his head. A huge 40th is placed on the wall.

« You’ve got to be shitting me… »

For once, Steve is really grateful for his training. He rushes up the stairs, hoping he can get there in time. When he arrives, Tony and the man just got out of the elevator. Steve’s heart skips another beat. That’s what he was afraid of. He watches them as they stand before a door. Tony’s room. Tony unlocks the door. 

« Please, please, Tony, don’t do this… » Steve begs him silently. 

They enter the room. The door closes…only to better reopen 3 seconds later, literally exploding under Steve's power.

« Steve? What the- »

Ignoring Tony, Steve focuses on the stranger. He looks at him right in the eyes, hoping it will make him feel as bad as possible.

« You have exactly ten seconds to leave this room until I crush your head on the wall,» he says calmly.

The man sneers. « And who are you to talk to me like that? His father? I can do whatever I want, with who I want. Even kissing Tony Sta- »

His sentence dies in his throat. Quick as lightning, Steve leaps up and hits him with a masterful punch, sending him flying to the other side of the room. Tony rushes towards him, which makes Steve even angrier. With one hand, he helps the stranger to get up. Blood is spreading everywhere. 

« ARE OUT OF YOUR MIND ROGERS? »

Steve doesn’t respond, still staring at the man. His entire body trembles under the influence of adrenaline and anger. 

« STEVE! ANSWER ME! »

« Not now Tony. »

« STE- »

« I SAID NOT NOW! »

Tony makes a step back, in shock. It’s the first time he hears Steve screaming. He looks at the man. « You better go heal your nose. I’ll call you later. »

The stranger doesn’t reply and leaves the room without further ado. Tony watches him as he does so, before turning to Steve. The latter, still trembling, turns his back to Tony and begins to move towards the door.

« Don’t you dare go away Captain! »

Steve freezes. Slowly, he turns around again and faces the man he loves. 

« What do you want, Tony? »

« What do I want? What do I WANT? I should be the one asking you that! First, you come here, you interrupt me and FOR GOD SAKE WHO GAVE YOU THE RIGHT TO COME HERE? I do whatever I want! »

« Oh come on! One month ago, you told me you love me and now, you flirt with that guy? »

« Don’t put this on me! You are the one who ran away, YOU are the who abandoned me, that’s on YOU! »

« I ran away cause I needed to sort out my feelings, not because I didn’t want you! »

« Oh, so I was supposed to figure this out on my own? I’m sorry not to be a genius then. » Tony replies, openly mocking Steve.

« Excuse me, but what kind of man just changes his mind so quickly? »

« YOU. ABANDONED. ME! » 

Steve moves quickly towards Tony. 

« I didn’t abandon you! You didn’t even let me the chance to talk to you! You’ve been avoiding me for weeks! When was I suppose to answer? »

« When I asked you! That was the right time! »

« So, you mean now is too late? »

« Yes, it- wait, what? »

Tony looks at Steve, half lost, half shocked. Steve notices hope in his eyes. He sighs. 

« Can I answer you now or is it too late? »

Tony frowns. « There’s nothing to answer Steve. I understood. You don’t love me I get it. No need to run away once more. »

Even though Tony is faking it, Steve hears the pain in his voice. It breaks his heart, to see Tony suffer and to know that he caused it. That’s why he can’t wait any longer. With one step, he walks the few centimeters that separate him from Tony. Gently, he takes his face in his hands and presses his lips against Tony’s. It’s Tony’s turn to freeze. He doesn’t know how to react. He doesn’t know if he wants to forgive Steve. But the sensation of Steve’s lips against his - this sensation - is the best thing he has ever felt. Steve doesn’t just kiss him. He tastes him, taking everything to his soul. Steve is in heaven. The softness of Tony's skin under his fingers, the warmth of his lips, the proximity of their bodies... Steve feels like he only lived for this moment. He bites Tony’s lower lip gently, and Tony lets out a moan. Suddenly, he pushes Steve away, breathing loudly.

« Please Steve, don’t do this. » he supplies.

« Don’t do what? »

« Don’t give me hope. Don’t give me hope and then leave me. I mean, I think- I can’t- I won’t support it. Not once more. »

Steve smiles. Taking Tony’s cheek in hand, he presses his forehead against Tony’s and whispers: « I promise I won’t leave you ever again. I’m all yours, from this day until my last day. I need you to be complete, I need you to live. I want to age with you, to laugh with you, to cry with you. I want to see your future because you’re full of surprises and I love that. I want your fights to be mine, I want to fix your failures, to heal your heart. And most of all, I want you to be mine. I’m really sorry I made you suffer like this, it wasn’t on purpose but it still wasn’t fair. I promise I’ll make it up to you if you give me a chance. »

Steve feels something wet on his fingers. He looks up at Tony who is crying.

« You know what would be good? » Tony asks, tears still coming out of his eyes.

« No? »

« If you carried a handkerchief » 

« Oh my god, Tony… » 

Steve pulls him into a tight hug. Tony wraps his arms around Steve’s torso and buries his face in Steve’s neck. Steve runs a hand in Tony’s messy hair. Both don’t matter how long they stay like this. Tony just wants to enjoy their proximity, when Steve focuses on Tony’s breathing, stroking his hair to calm him down. After a while, Tony’s breathing is finally back to normal. He places his hands on Steve’s chest and gently pulls him away. Steve looks at him, worried. Tony notices it, and appeases him:

« Don’t worry I am fine. I just need to go to the bathroom in order to look human again »

Indeed, his eyes are still red and swollen. He looks like someone who hasn't slept for several days. His hair is messy, although Steve is no stranger to that.

« Alright then, I’ll wait for you here »

Tony nods and goes to the bathroom. Five minutes later, he is all set up. He comes back to Steve, who is sitting on his bed. 

« Let’s go, shall we? » Tony says to Steve, offering his hand to him.

Without hesitation, Steve takes it. « Yes, let’s go. »

When they enter the room where the party takes place again, hand in hand, Nat elbows Clint a little and nods his head in their direction. 

« Look over there. »

Clint turns his head and spots the fresh new couple. 

Nat looks at him, her eyes amused and a smile on her face.

« It’s about damn time, don’t you think? »

Clint laughs and nods. Yes, it’s about damn time.


	10. Whatever it takes

Avengers tower, 6 pm. The only sound that can be heard is a butter crackling in a frying pan. A yummy smell of sugar spreads slowly in the room. Alone in a comfy jogging and a white shirt, Steve is cooking pancakes for dinner. For the first time in 6 months, all Avengers would finally reunite for something else than a mission. When Tony sent the invitation, he told them to be here at 8, so it gives him two hours to be ready. Long enough. He flips a pancake, whistling and smiling. He is happy about this little party. He only has to finish this and then he’ll go take his shower. Nat said she would pick up Peter at school so everything is fine. Tony should be here in any minute anyway. Steve looks down at the ring he is wearing. Everything has gone so fast and crazy since they married two years ago. Tony insisted heavily that he comes and lives with him in the tower. In fact, he literally took all his stuff from his old apartment and brought it here without asking him. He remembers how confused he was when he found the flat completely empty. Well, nearly empty, as the only thing that remained was a business card on the floor, with the tower drawn on it. However, he surprised himself seeing how well he adapted to the situation and to his new life. Living with Tony is everything but a burden. Thrilling, lovely, wonderful hell yeah! But definitely not a weight. They even managed to adopt a child. The first time they met Peter, they absolutely loved him. Despite his young age, Peter is very mature and already shows some interest in science which makes Tony especially happy. This morning, Peter couldn’t stay still, way too much excited by the upcoming party. 

« Will there be everyone? Like, everyone everyone? Uncle Bruce, uncle Thor, Auntie Carol…» he asked, eyes full of hope. 

It made Tony laugh. « Yeah kiddo! -He puts his hand on Peter’s head- Everyone everyone will be here. »

« YEAHHHHHH! -he jumped for joy- AVENGERS ASSEMBLE! » he screamed, closing his fist and waving it to the sky as if he wanted to fly. 

« Are you ready for school Pete? » Steve asked him. « Is your bag ready? »

« Yes dad, it is! » 

« So let’s go kid! » Tony said, clapping his hands.

Peter started walking out. Just before leaving, he turned around.

« And Auntie Nat… Auntie Nat will be here tonight right? » he whispered, his voice suddenly trembling. 

« She is part of the team buddy so yes she is coming. Why are you asking that? »

« Cause… I saw her crying alone once and I don’t know why. Do you know dad? Do you know why Auntie Nat is sad? »

Steve’s face darkened and he looked at Tony, a silent question in the eyes. Tony looked as confused as he is. 

« No Pete, I don’t know. »

« She’ll be okay kiddo. I promise. » Tony appeased the worried child, a hand on his shoulder.

« Okay dad, I trust you. » 

For two seconds, Peter seemed lost in his thoughts. Then all of a sudden, his face enlightened. 

« I know what to do! » 

He ran outside.

« Peter, wait -» Tony followed him.  
Steve closed the door. He couldn’t pass over what Peter said. Nat, crying? That would be very unusual. He tried to remember any last memories he had about her but as far as he could remember, he hadn’t detected any kind of sadness. Nat had just been… well, Nat. How did he miss that? His phone ringed. A message from Tony. 

« Hey, honey. Peter explained to me what he had in mind. He wants to take advantage of the party to talk to Nat and I think we should maybe let him do so. For Nat’s happiness. I called Wanda and she explained to me what’s going on with her. She often feels alone, even though she doesn’t show it. That’s why she accepted so many missions recently, even if she could be hurt. She saw us becoming a family, she loves Clint’s children but… She is on her own. She barely sleeps and I feel like, you know, that’s a little bit on us as we clearly didn’t really pay attention the last few months. To fix this, Peter wants to offer Nat a room to sleep with us in the apartment. There are plenty of empty rooms, and I don’t see how it would bother us. Yet, I wanted to ask you if it’s okay for you before saying yes to the kid. If you wanna talk about it, call me. Love u, T »

Steve looked at his phone and sighed. So that’s why Nat had been accepting all those missions. Why didn’t she come to him? He could have helped, he could- He picked up his phone again and answered Tony. 

« Of course she can stay with us. I’m off today so I am going to prepare everything for tonight. Tell Nat to pick up Peter after school and bring him here. Love u too, S. »

Of course, she could stay, why couldn’t she? Everything was better than seeing her down like this. Now that he knew, a lot of things became clearer. She even stopped teasing him about Tony, which she had always done even in the darkest moments. 

And so here he comes, cooking pancakes soon a Tuesday evening. The table is already set. Now he just has to get ready for the party.  
Two hours later, all the Avengers have arrived. Laughs and discussions are mixing in the air.

« Thanks, honey. For accepting. »

Without him noticing, Tony had come closer and kisses him on the cheek.

« We can’t let her down. She is the one who believes in everything when no one else did. She brought us together. She brought us to beat Thanos. - Steve sketches a smile - Plus, I think Peter might have a preference for Auntie Nat. Look over there. »

At the opposite side of the room, Nat and Peter are playing together. It seems like Peter is giving Nat his best « Avengers poses » as he calls them. Judging by his imitation, it must be Clint’s turn. Steve looks at Nat. She laughs and smiles but her eyes don’t lie. The last time Steve saw this look, it was after their first defeat against Thanos. No words could then express the pain and sorrow she radiated. Tony takes his hand. His sad face indicates that he has come to the same conclusion.

« We’ll talk to her at the end of the party okay? We don’t want everyone to know about this. We’ll help her. Whatever it takes.» Tony whispers.

« Okay let’s do this. »

Steve takes a walk across the room. Around the table, Clint, Rhodey, Maria Hill, and Thor are having a really animated conversation. 

« But it’s a trick! » Clint claims, spinning a drumstick with his fingers.

« No, it’s so much more than that. » Thor laughs.

« Ah - Clint takes a deep voice - Whosoever be he worthy shall have the power! Whatever man, it’s a trick! »

« All reference to the man who wouldn’t be king, but it’s rigged! » Rhodey adds.

« You bet your ass! » Clint replies.

« Steve, -Maria points at Clint - he said a bad language word, » Steve laughs.

« LANGUAGE! » Peter screams.

Maria turns to Steve.

« Steve, seriously? The kid? » Maria berates him, an annoyed look in the eyes.

« What? That’s education! »

« That’s not education, that’s cloning! » Nat yells at him, a faint smile on her face.

Steve turns his head and smiles. « You know what Romanoff? » he replies.

Their who-will-be-the-first-to-look-away battle is interrupted by Peter, who gives Nat a drawing. Steve has a great time, but he is way too preoccupied to really enjoy the moment. Around midnight, everyone is nearly gone. Only Peter, Tony, Nat, Clint and Steve remain. As Clint and Nat are about to leave, Tony stops them. 

« Agent Romanoff, could you stay one more minute, please? We need to talk. »

Nat glances at Clint. «I’ll see you in a minute. »

« Actually, - he winces - it’ll longer than a minute. Don’t worry Clint we’ll bring her home. »

Without discussion, Clint leaves. Tony slowly closes the door.

« Tony, could you tell me what’s going on? I really don’t have time for this. »

Tony goes to the sofa and picks up Peter who had fallen asleep on it. He looks at Steve. Message received. Steve knows what he has to do. Nat frowns as she watches the pair leaving.

« Steve, what’s happening? We don’t have time, we have plenty of things to do! We still have to find the boss of that drug organization and Jarvis doesn’t seem to have any clue of where he could be. It’ll be hard, really hard. »

Steve breathes deeply. He takes Nat’s hand and guides her to the coach, where they both sit. 

« Listen, Nat. We are worried about you. Peter told us he saw you crying. »

Nat’s eyes open wild as Steve speaks. She blushes as if she was ashamed of it. 

« I-It’s nothing. Really. I-I… » 

She closes her eyes. Tears start forming at the corner of her eyes. For maybe three minutes, she doesn’t speak, keeping her eyes closed and breathing slowly. Steve takes her hand, trying to vehicular some calm. Opening her eyes again, she stares at Steve. Then suddenly, the virtual armor she had built breaks and reveals a broken expression. Her voice trembling, she squeezes Steve’s hand, to give herself courage.

« I had nothing you know. And then I got this family. It was so much more than what I had ever expected. When Clint introduced me to Fury, and then when the Avengers were created, I had hope. For the first time, I thought I could more than the assassin they made me. But look at me. 5 years fighting to find a way to bring everyone back, I still have images crossing my mind. Almost everyone moved on but not me. I’ll always be chased by my ghosts. I can’t let go. I don’t have any future, there’s no future with me. I-I can’t have children Steve. - she wraps her arms tight around her body - I only told Bruce so please keep the secret. In the red room where I was trained, there’s a kind of … ceremony at the end. They sterilize us all. Quite efficient. It makes things easier. Especially killing. No stops during missions. Always going on. Like I said, no future. »

« What about Carol? I thought…»

Nat nods her head. 

« She mustn’t know how I feel Steve. There’s no future with me and she deserves to have one with someone’s perfect to give her one. Someone who is able to build a family with her. That’s not my case. »

She smiles at Steve, tears still falling on her cheeks. She stands up. 

« Anyway, I have to go. - she wipes her tears with the back of her hand - Thanks Steve for listening to me. »

« Nat wait. - Steve grabs her arm gently and pulls her back on the couch - you know, we have a huge apartment. And Peter loves you a lot. »

« What’s your point, Rogers? »

« Stay here. Live with us. We considered this with Tony and we both think it is time for you to have a life. We have rooms, you are family. Stay, please. »

« And why would you do that? » she answers, half crying, half smiling.

« Because we don’t want you to be alone. » Steve replies, a serious look in the eyes.

Tears fall down again on Nat’s cheeks. Steve takes her in his arms. She’s always been here for him. All he wants is to make her happy as she did for him. She deserves it. More than anyone. Nat doesn’t say anything, sobbing in his shoulder. A little voice comes out of nowhere.

«  Are you going to stay auntie Nat? »

Nat pulls Steve away and turns around. Peter is standing in the middle of the room, twisting his finger in anxiety. Tony is leaning against the door at the entrance to the room. 

« Peter! Aren’t you supposed to sleep? » Steve asks him.

« I woke up… - He looks at the ground like a boy being grounded by immediately looks up at Nat again. He walks toward her and climbs on the couch and sits on her knees. - Say that you’ll stay aunt Nat! We need you here! »

He grabs her and pulls her into a hug.

« Oh, Pete… » Nat wraps her arm around the little body and closes her eyes. «  Yes, yes I’ll stay » She lets out in a sharp breath. Peter hugs her even tighter. By the little jolt of his body, Nat believes he is crying.

« Don’t cry, Pete. It’s okay. »

« I know but... I love you so much, auntie Nat! »

« I love you too Pete »

« Oh wait! - Tony moves and comes next to Steve - Do I hear something? It’s a sentence… I believe it was ‘love is for children’ » he winks at Steve.

Nat doesn’t reply, but the way she looks at him says everything. Steve laughs. Even in the darkest moments, Tony is able to bring some light to make everything shine. All of a sudden, Peter jumps on his feet and takes Nat’s hand. 

« Come on, I’ll show you your room! » he says, sweeping nat with him. She has no choice but to follow him.

« Wait, Peter! I have to get my stuff before and -» her voice fades as she is dragged away by peter.

Tony gives her a sorry look and tilts his head toward Steve. 

« Actually, she doesn’t need to get her stuff… » he murmurs.

« Don’t tell me you did this. »

« I had to. - Steve looks at him sideways - Look, I’m sorry okay! I thought that it would convince her to stay. »

« By taking her stuff? »

« It worked with you, right? »

« Okay, okay you win this one. But I’m not sure you’ll still be alive after she finds out. »

Tony sighs. « I hope she’ll be okay… »

« We’ll do anything for it. I have to talk to Carol. I’m pretty sure she feels the same way as Nat does. They deserve their happy ending, as much as we do. »

« Always seeing through other huh? »Tony faces Steve and puts his arm around his lover’s neck.

« You should be grateful for this. I saw through you and fell in love with you thanks to this! » he replies, kissing softly Tony’s lips.

« Yeah, talking about that, you’re really a bad judge Rogers. I mean, look at the merchandise,» he says ironically, frowning his nose and pointing at himself. 

«As they say, no refund, no exchanges. I guess I’m stuck with your imperfections forever. »

« Poor you! » Tony comes closer and gives Steve a real kiss, the kind of kiss which makes Steve forget everything and just supply for more. When they pull away, he just wants to take his husband to their room right away. 

« I’m going to check on Pete and Nat, see if everything is okay and try not to get killed by the greatest assassin on Earth. If I don’t come back in five minutes, don’t worry I’m probably dead. »

He starts walking out. But as he is about to reach the door, he stops and without looking back at Steve, says: « I think I’ll need a shower after this. - he turns his head and gives Steve a look that immediately wakes up his body - and I think you’re going to join me » Then he leaves.

 

Steve smiles. That’s how it should be. Or at least, that’s how it should have been. But reality is often disappointing and this is no exception. He is back in the street, covered with blood and dust. He tilts his head down and looks at the broken iron suit laying at his feet. The little scene he had just imagined disappears, and well as his hope. Why can’t it be this way? His whole world is falling apart, including the people he loves. Nat never came to live with them. He didn’t marry Tony. Peter isn’t their son. He glances around him. Everything is just fire. Buildings are collapsing from all sides. There, across the street, Nat's body is still visible under the rubble. « It’s okay,» she said, «I’m going to protect you ». She kissed him softly on the cheek and without any last word, jumped in front of their enemy. And now, she is gone. Steve feels tears going down his jawline, mixing with the dust and mud drying on his cheeks. Nearly, a bomb explodes. Steve throws himself on Tony's body to protect him. When he looks up again, another building is gone. He presses his forehead on the cold metal. 

« You promised… You promised not to leave me… You promised Tony! » he screams alone in the street. 

One tear, two tears crush on the helmet. Steve suddenly feels like a three-year-old boy again. He can’t help but hold Tony tight in his arms, hoping that he will hug him back at some point. He places his hand on Tony’s arc reactor. He wishes, he wishes so hard he could turn it on again. He wants to see that light again. He wants to hear his sarcastic jokes again. He just wants his lover back. A metallic sound resonates. Following his instinct, Steve jumps aside, still holding Tony. He takes a look at the street. There, standing in its middle, the mad titan stares at him, his whole army behind him. An infinite sadness falls upon him. If Thanos is here, it means he is the last one standing. All the others, Clint, Wanda, Bucky must be dead. The wry has no meaning without them, without his family. Slowly, he unties his shield from his arm and puts it next to Tony's inert body. One last time, he looks at it and looks at Tony. 

« Whatever it takes… » he whispers.

Then, he comes out of hiding and walks toward the middle of the street, a hundred meters away from Thanos. Thanos smiles. Steve sees his lips moving. A violet light appears out of nowhere. Everything disappears.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There it is, the very last chapter of my first book. I really hope you enjoyed it. I'm fully aware that it is far from perfect but this is hiw i imagined it and i'm quite happy about it. There will be another book like this one but right to change a little bit, i'm working on a new story, a Romanogers one, that will be longer than this one (about 15 chapters). I don't know when i'll be able to give it to you (as i just started writing it) but it's on the way! 
> 
> Thank you again and see you sson!


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